I love to be prepared. I am the girl who packs her purse with snacks, nail clippers, and a Swiss Army knife. One of these days I hope to add a roll of duct tape in there as well. Yes, it is a goal of mine to make MacGyver proud.
I am the girl who gets on wikipedia and reads up on all possible trivia before going to a movie marathon. I love knowing things ahead of time, being prepared, and feeling ready.
I've grown more relaxed in this arena, but many times, I am the girl who spent a lot of mental energy on her appearance, wanting to look put together all the time.
Being prepared isn't a bad goal in life, so long as it stays in balance. Looking peaceful and put together aren't bad either, after all, our God is a God of order. Knowledge can be power. But my desires have definitely tipped over into unnecessary more than once. If I don't have every detail figured out ahead of time, I am tempted to feel panicked. I want to be on top of everything, the master of every skill, the girl who knows and does it all.
Let me tell you, the reality of life has a great way of knocking down your castles in the air. I have tried to be on top of everything in my life, and believe it or not....
....I have failed miserably.
Somewhere in my heart, I have believed the lie that I can't get through life without knowing what comes next and how to handle it. My pride and self-worth have been tied to my feeling in control and on top of things. Uncertainties are too terrifying, and not knowing what you are doing is a big dent to your ego.
I have prayed before, "God, please don't let such and such thing happen until I am ready for it." And by "ready for it", I meant that I had done all of my homework ahead of time. When the next thing came, I wanted to be the captain of the ship.
Lovingly, God hasn't listened to me when I am being an idiot. Instead, He has sent whatever I need to grow in my life in His timing, and not mine. This has led to me being thrust into many situations and seasons in life that I did not feel ready for, but had to face nonetheless.
It came out okay in the end; however, my pride was removed when I realized that I didn't know what I was doing and that was all right. And then from that new place of humility, I learned and matured. If I had known everything, I would not have room for growth. If God had brought things in my desired timeline, I wouldn't have gotten what I needed when I needed it most.
In our dream reality, I think most of us would look polished and professional. Arriving at every situation with composer and intelligence. We wouldn't be messy, our lives wouldn't be chaotic, and we would have a lot more answers.
Shepherds in ancient Judea spent most of their time out in the wilderness, where their lives were very intermingled with their animals. Bathing was probably about as rare as a blue sheep. They were stinky, very isolated from the world, and obscure to all of the "great" people of that time.
And then, lo and behold, one night an angel shows up to invite them to the Messiah's birthday party!
I would have been tempted to think, "What the heck? I'm not ready to go meet the Messiah! Excuse me Mr. Angelic Being, do I have time to grab a shower and change my tunic? Are you sure this is the address you were looking for?"
At least, I would have been tempted to ask those questions. But apparently the shepherds were wiser than me, for the Bible says that the shepherds went to Bethlehem with haste. As fast as their sandal-ed feet could move, those shepherds hurried to the manger to meet their Savior.
They were messy, they stank, they had likely sinned within the last 24 hours. But when they were invited to be in the presence of their Lord, they did not hesitate. The shepherds knew what a gift they were being given, a once in a life time opportunity that would never come again.
It didn't matter whether or not they looked or felt presentable. It didn't matter that they had no education or permanent address. Their Messiah was waiting and ready, and that was enough for them.
I didn't feel ready for Christmas this year. I didn't feel the energy, the sparkling Christmas "spirit". I found myself wishing that I had more time to be '"ready".
I'm a mess, like the rest of humanity, but I'm not going to let the fact that I feel unprepared stop me from embracing this Christmas. This year, this celebration, this moment is going to happen only once in a lifetime.
And when I begin to feel under-prepared and overwhelmed, what does God tell me?
"Don't worry sweetheart, because I am ready for you, and that's enough."
Embrace the gift of this Christmas, even if your life is crazy and you feel like a mess. It's okay if you don't feel ready for this season, because Jesus is ready for you. And He is enough.
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Need some more truth this Christmas? I've got at least 6 days worth to share with you! Catch up with Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6.
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