Saturday, June 20, 2015

Why I Hate LED Lights

I know, some will read this post and begin singing that insanely catchy Taylor Swift song with the lines, "Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...."

Truthfully, I try not to hate on things too often, but in this case, I am merely venting for therapy.

Here it goes...
I hate LED lights
What? "Are you also against bowling alleys, dance parties, leprechauns, and lightsabers?" I can hear the potential remarks running through my head as people shake theirs in disapproval.

No, no I am not. And let me be entirely clear. I don't mind LED everything. I have a lovely lamp that my dad got me from IKEA that clicks onto my bunk bed and provides me with much needed light. It is an LED lamp. I also enjoy LED candles, a very practical solution that has brought class and elegance back to many homes with parents of small children; who didn't dare risk an open flame around their little darlings.

When I speak with this vehement hate, I am speaking of LED light strips.

*narrows eyes and rubs forehead to help ease impending tension headache and mental block*

I seriously think there is something in my brain that disconnects when I come in contact with LED light strips. You know how deer often just freeze when they are suddenly caught in the glare of headlights? Little known fact, it is not from fear, the lights literally overload their senses and they cannot think or move for a time.

Me, walking into a room with LED lights.
Yes, this is me when I am faced with LED lights. I have a hard time thinking, my senses are so insanely overloaded with the amount of unnatural, glaring, screaming pinpoints of light! ARG!

It's almost as if someone was singing in that exact pitch that made your hair stand on end, and suddenly glass begins breaking around you.

My mental stability, shattered on the floor.
Before you ask me the question, no, I do NOT hate Christmas lights, in fact, I absolutely adore Christmas lights, they are one of my favorite things about Christmas. But why- you say- what is the difference between Christmas lights and LED lights? Aren't they both pinpoints of light with unnatural hues?

A fair question, to which I have an answer. Christmas lights don't scream for you're attention, they request it demurely. Christmas lights say, "May I sparkle and light up your world? May I bring feelings of happiness and joy into your soul?

Whereas and LED light says, "One light to rule them all, one light to find them, one light to bring them all in the glare blind them."

(Left- Christmas Light) (Right- LED Light)

My brother says that LED lights are the wave of the future. If that is so folks, I am building myself a time machine and going back to the the past. Or moving to the remote jungles of the Amazon.